Pinball?

7 Dec

Do you ever have moments in your life when you’re filled with an overwhelming sense of wanting more? I’m not talking about making more money or acquiring nice things. I’m talking about an aching so deep in your soul it makes you squirm in discomfort for what it might be telling you about yourself  or what it might be urging you to do. It’s almost suffocating because you know it’s there, you sort of know why it’s there, but what to do about it, well that’s the tricky part. Do you know what I mean?

That’s where I’m at this morning. I want more. So much more. I’m sitting here drinking my morning coffee and can barely sit still because there is this stirring in my soul that won’t be quiet. It feels like there is a confined game of pinball being played in my soul and that little ball just won’t go down the black hole. I don’t want it to though because it’s telling me something. But what I’d really like is to know what this little pinball is telling me… more? More of what? What does it mean? I wrote something awhile back about living the questions. I suppose that’s relevant right now. But that requires patience, which is perhaps one of my greatest weaknesses. I guess that in itself is pretty revealing.

Wanting more + Patience = God preparing me for something?

I hope so.

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One Response to “Pinball?”

  1. Erin December 9, 2010 at 6:18 am #

    Praying for patience for you during this time and hopeful anticipation of great things to come:) Love you

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