the road to my soul part 2

11 Aug

It’s official, my two month road trip across the States came to an end last Tuesday when I arrived home just before 9pm. After the Canadian border guard practically welcomed me back to my country with open arms (seriously, the nicest, easiest border guy ever!), I arrived at my parent’s house to find Canadian flag markers lining the driveway (in case I forgot where I lived and what nationality I am) and a nice ‘Woohhooo…. Hi :)’ note on the front door, which I barely had a chance to read before the door was flung open by my very anxious and excited parents. I have to admit, even at the fairly adult age of 27, I still get excited to see my parents after not seeing them for awhile.

The week since being home has been pretty hectic. Part of the reason I hauled on the drive back home was because I had a new job to start which required me to move just five days after getting back to Canada. So I spent these five days visiting with my fam, cooking, playing piano, seeing as many friends as possible, cramming two months worth of sedentary time into three days of working out, unpacking, doing laundry and re-packing. Then on Sunday, I made the move to the Sunshine Coast where I will be working for three months as a scuba diving tour guide. Just kidding, I’m working as a office manager at my aunt and uncle’s commercial scuba company to cover the remainder of a maternity leave. Once I figure out that debits and credits are reversed in accounting compared to banking, I think it will be good. Plus, the Sunshine Coast is beautiful and my aunt has all these wonderful ideas of things that she is going to get me to try… kayaking, mountain biking, trail running, tennis, fence building, etc. As long as she doesn’t try and make me go tenting, I’m in. And who knows, maybe after these three months, the term ‘outdoorsy’ might not be out of the realm of possibility to be used as a word to describe me.

As for my time at home, it was really great to see friends and family and catch up on the past few months. Two months isn’t that long, but at the same time, it kind of is… it’s 1/6th of a year which seems a bit longer for me what I consider it that way. And, I changed ages while I was gone, which actually turned out to be quite significant. Typically I enjoy a good birthday party with friends and family and perhaps the odd gift, but this year, I spent my birthday completely alone. I had plans for my 27th birthday in Charleston, South Carolina, big plans, but the weather had a different idea preventing me from doing any of my plans. So what did I do? I got take out BBQ, put on my pajamas, watched The Bachelorette in bed and cried a little. After I finished feeling sorry for myself for a bit, I began to wonder what the heck I was really having a pity party for. Here I was, in this absolutely beautiful city (somewhere I chose to be on my birthday), traveling the country, with all the freedom in the world, hanging out with a God who has been revealing to me amazing things and I was feeling sorry for myself. Why? It was a really humbling moment that I’m really thankful I had… and as it turns out, I really liked my 27th birthday. Not because I wasn’t around people, but because it’s where God wanted me and I can’t really argue with that.

One common question people have asked me upon arriving home from this journey has been, “Is it what you’d hoped it would be?” In a word, yes. It’s true I went into this journey with a certain set of hopes and expectations. One thing I have really learned over the past year is that there is a big difference between hopes and expectations. Expectations immediately place a certain degree of limitation on something or someone and can leave you susceptible to being hurt and disappointed, whereas hopes allow your heart and soul to be free and alive in their dreams and desires. It was only a few days into my trip that I realized if I didn’t let go of certain expectations for this journey, I was going to be extremely disappointed and miss out big time on God’s teaching, so I did. I was surprised by how easy it was to let these expectations go as that is not usually the case for me. My hopes on the other hand, they remained and in many ways, they were definitely met. Not always in the way I expected, but in a way that was quite perfectly God. That’s not to say that the trip wasn’t without trials, fear and loneliness, because I definitely had moments with all three. But often it was in those moments that God used to teach me something that satisfied a longing in my soul or a hope in my heart.

It’s difficult to articulate exactly what I learned while I was gone, especially because it was such a solitariness journey for a good portion of it. But I do know that I experienced God in new and exciting ways and got a better glimpse of who I am in Him leaving me with a thirst to know more. I also take from this journey inspired dreams and visions. What God will do with these is yet to be seen, but I plan to continue exploring these stirrings in my soul and the passions and desires they evoke, hopefully taking steps towards where God will lead me next. I stand in awe of God’s grace and how He personalizes His relationship with each of His children to meet them where they are at. This journey has been the craziest thing I have ever done and I couldn’t be more thankful for it.

Also, I want to thank everyone who followed and supported me along the way by praying for me, feeding me a good home-cooked meal, providing me with a warm, safe place to sleep, putting me up in a hotel when I didn’t have a place to stay in the next city, having good chats, getting me hooked on this season’s Bachelorette, taking me to church, giving hugs, reading my blog, leaving comments, sending me texts, calling me during long drives, sending encouraging emails or maybe even just thinking of me from time to time. Although the trip part of this journey is over, I’m hoping and praying that it continues in my heart and soul. I will be keeping up this blog so I hope you still check in from time to time :)

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6 Responses to “the road to my soul part 2”

  1. grama August 11, 2010 at 8:17 pm #

    …..it’s good to have you back home but even better is seeing you in a beautiful growing relationship with a loving heavenly Father who really does care for each of us individually. In this relationship we can be totally content knowing that our Father even counts the hairs on our head! Now that’s detail!! love and hugs…..grama

  2. Steve August 12, 2010 at 9:30 am #

    Glad to know you’ve made home safe. Good luck on your new job!

    • Jamie Born August 16, 2010 at 9:23 pm #

      Thanks Steve! Good luck on your new marriage :)

  3. grant August 12, 2010 at 12:51 pm #

    Welcome back Jamie. The adventure continues… I think you should try the Scuba Instructor gig! I’m thinking all these experiences are leading to one thing… you’re ready to be the next Bachelorette!

    • Jamie Born August 16, 2010 at 9:40 pm #

      Ha! the next Bachelorette? interesting. I’d be curious to see where they would find 25 nice, attractive men over 6 feet tall. could be fun :)

  4. erin August 20, 2010 at 7:21 am #

    Finally sat down to finish this blog entry, been meaning to for some time. See you soon

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