my thirsty soul

7 Jul

“God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we have patience. …The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be.” – Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

“The parched ground will become a pool, and springs of water will satisfy the thirsty land. Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will flourish where desert jackets once lived.” – Isaiah 35: 7

I have been loving the book of Isaiah lately. It is laced with poetic verses that when the layers are peeled back reveal resounding truths and beautiful meaning. When I first read this last night, I didn’t think much of it. Then I read it again in context with the entire chapter and was overwhelmed by its relevancy to me. It never ceases to amaze me how God reveals himself through His word.

Before I left on this journey, I had a vision for how I thought it would play out. God placed this idea, this vision on my heart back in January and I have been running with it every since. During the months of planning and preparation, the countless reasons for taking this journey have been revealed to me in various ways affirming my decision to go. Many of these reasons exposing a driving desire to gain a better understanding of who I am in Christ. If I’m really honest though, this vision to chase who I am in Christ formed over a year ago when a significant event in my life left me reeling and lost and with the daunting realization that for a long time, I had been seeking my identity and value in people, rather than Christ. My heart was broken and my soul was dry.

What I realize now is that this was Christ’s way of taking back what belonged to Him – my heart and soul. I willingly agreed for no other reason than I didn’t know what else to do. Since then, I have been trying to seek His vision – to discover my identity in Christ. But like Chambers says, this process has not been without its painful valleys of trials and struggles that have often left me on the brink of giving up and reverting back to my old ways. But through the valleys and the hopeful hill tops along the way, God has been breaking me down, washing me clean and  shaping me into His ideal and vision and I actually don’t wish for it to have happened any other way.

Looking back (and even now), my soul was (is) parched ground, thirsty for the quenching springs of water of knowing Christ’s love and the image that He created me in. This refining process is not over though. There have been many times throughout this journey that Christ has offered His springs of water to me – and with each drink I accept, another part of who I am is revealed to me. And as my soul allows His water to pool in its empty cracks, I can feel it begin to come alive as the thirsty desert land of my soul is replaced with marsh grass and reeds. I will say that it is not how I have expected it to be, but I have peace in knowing that it is His way.

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2 Responses to “my thirsty soul”

  1. grama July 7, 2010 at 10:01 am #

    ………….Psalm 42 ‘as the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you,O God!’ Isaiah 55 ‘Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters’ keep on searching, girl!! You’re right on track!!!! love grama

  2. Erin July 7, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

    There are some beautiful metaphors in the bible! Praying for you as you continue this journey in the States and forever. Loved chatting today, love ya

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